Last Words

Last words...we place a great deal of emphasis on last words.  There's even a familiar colloquialism that accompanies our reflections on things said, though it is often used as cynical reaction to something another person has said, either in boasting or overstating their opinion...famous last words.  I have heard those words on occasion in response to something I have said, and my guess is that many of you have as well. 

 

Closing words and thoughts are often summative which is one reason we pay such close attention to them. In the courtroom, last words define the case for the defense or prosecution and often impact the verdict of guilt or innocence.  Coming to the close of an engrossing novel, the last words on the page leave the reader to imagine next steps yet unwritten. At the end of the day, last words shared between parent and child may offer security for the soon coming darkness, assurance of nearby presence if needed, and reinforcement of love that empowers rest and peace. And as one comes to the close of life's journey, sometimes those words leave reminders of the power and influence of human relationship.

 

As Father's Day approaches, I remember my dad's last words to me and mine to him.  Cindy, Clayton and I had been in Northern Virginia about three weeks in September, 2001.  Still without a house of our own, we were living in the confines of grace and welcome in the home of Bob and Pat Nelson.  Their kindness and hospitality were a gift of blessing in that time of transition.  On the night of September 20th, I called my mom and dad from the basement of the Nelson's to check in and to invite them to participate in my installation as senior pastor at Westwood later in the month of October. They were excited about the opportunity to travel and see our new church and hopefully our new home.  In the last moments of that conversation, Clayton was on another extension and he, my dad, and I were drawing to a close a conversation that had highlighted so many new things in all our lives.  The last words from my dad in that moment were familiar, yet summative, not only for the close of a phone conversation, but for the life we had shared together.  "I love you, Clayton," he said.  "I love you too," Clayton responded.  Then he said, "I love you, Jim," and I responded, "I love you too."  Three hours later, the call came from my mom that my father had died suddenly. Since that day, I have cherished those last words shared, yes because of their proximity to his death, but more because of how they defined his life and our relationship.

 

Now, every conversation will obviously not conclude with words of love and appreciation. Yet, I would argue that the way you conclude a conversation with anyone you care deeply about has an impact, either as a point of reference for future conversation, or as a gateway to remembrance.  As Father's Day approaches, I am grateful for those last words shared with my father nearly twelve years ago. I still hear his voice from time to time, remember his laughter, and ponder the blessing of loving and being loved by him. 

 

Famous last words? Yes, thank God.

 

Jim Abernathy